On moving ... out and forward

I've recently started journaling again ... something I haven't done in a very long time, but I'm feeling the need to again. Perhaps just to put all the loose thoughts bouncing around my brain in one cohesive place. Maybe if I get them all out there, where I can reflect on what, and who and why, I'll somehow have a better sense of life. I've had this journal for years ... full of blank pages, just waiting to be needed. I adore the angel on the cover and the funky pages inside.

For the most part, I've tried to keep this blog upbeat and happy, though those of you who read on a regular basis know that I do not fear honesty and have often shared my issues with depression with my readers. While I'm not currently having those issues, there are others occurring in my life that have caused great upheaval and confusion. Inspired by Beki of Artsy-Crafty Babe, who I have long admired, I figured I'd just put it out there, as she did in her post yesterday.

My husband and I are divorcing. I had hoped it would be amicably, but that no longer appears to be possible, for which I am sad. I know this is the right decision for me and will ultimately lead to greater happiness and personal fulfillment, however, it is currently a time of much uncertainty and frustration. For the time being, my daughter and I have moved in with my parents, for which I am so grateful. They adore my daughter (and probably me, too) and it's nice to have their support. I haven't been able to get much of my belongings at this point, but I did manage to get enough things to hopefully make Hannah feel at home and enough of my fabric to give me endless sewing opportunities (my mother said her stash was off limits - LOL - she's currently whipping out a twin quilt as I type).

But with uncertainty comes anxiety ... and I think so far I'm handling that as well as can be expected. I've found a daycare for my daughter and am currently updating my resume and applying for RN positions around Madison, WI, where my parents live. Financially, I'm in a tough spot, but I'm taking it one day at a time and facing the future with hope instead of despair.

There are lots of things that remain to be done and I recognize it will be a long time before I feel "settled," and I accept that as okay. I need to find the DMV and change my address. Monday, I'm getting a library card and figuring out when story time is at the library for my daughter. We're going to spend a half-day sitting in on her new daycare and seeing what she thinks. I'm going to start applying for every job I can find - and being in a bigger metropolitan area, there are many more opportunities here. I might even teach an English class as adjunct faculty at a local technical college. I am LOVING being back in a big city again, not to mention one that embraces diversity. To celebrate, I recently chopped my already-short locks even shorter - a trendier cut for a much trendier city.

It's so fun and funky and I can totally spike it any way I want ... I'm thinking I might see if I can get it into a mohawk of sorts tomorrow... as suggested by my friend Sally's teenage daughter with whom I spent a bit of time this past week. I love short hair, mostly because it gives one nothing to hid behind. I'm not afraid of who I am - I KNOW who I am. And I am choosing to celebrate that once again. I finally got a set of four graduated hoop earring for all the multiple holes in my ears - ones I can sleep on without the studs pressing into my head all night. My earrings, tongue stud and crazy hair are totally acceptable here, which I adore. I feel like I'm taking back "me" ... one huge step and a bunch of little ones at a time.

So, I'm going to start looking at back at the good things over the day here, as a reminder that even during those not-so-great days, there are always good things that happened, no matter how small. Jeni of In Color Order does this, so if it looks familiar, that might be why.

Good things about today:
- Started journaling again
- Got to sleep in late (no kids this weekend)
- Breaded tilapia, cooked snap peas and mini red potatoes for dinner (thanks mom!)
- Seeing most of my fabric stash physically with me
- Hooking up my streaming Netflix account here

I hope your weekend is off to a wonderful start!