Fear and courage

Couldn't have said it better ...  There are many things I've been fearing in my life lately: Saying words I needed to say, ones I knew would hurt, but would also set me free; choosing a career path that may mean relocating, away from one of my children; taking an exam in order to further that career, one that if I pass will put me ahead of others, and if I fail will put me behind ... 

However, I said the words, I made a career choice and I'm taking that exam bright and early tomorrow morning. It was scary, but I believe in myself enough to know that I can handle what comes my way and be better for it in the end. 

Tomorrow at 8 a.m. I am taking my state nursing boards, and I'm hoping that I do well. These are one of those exams that you can never feel quite prepared enough for. Over the past couple of months, I've done more than 4,000 NCLEX review questions and reviewed more than 1,000 rationales regarding questions. Those who don't know me, should understand I'm a type A personality. I like to not just pass, but ace things. And with computerized adaptive testing, you either pass or fail ... there is no grade. No way to ace anything. It's very black and white (and I so appreciate all those beautiful shades of grey in between). And to make it even worse, you don't know if you passed or failed when you leave. I fully expect to walk out of the exam once it closes and push down the urge to vomit in the parking lot.

I recently created a Pinterest Words board, with inspirational quotes that I can refer too when I'm in need of a little uplifting. A couple of quotes are one's I've loved for a long time and would make a great future tattoo. Maybe to celebrate all of these changes that are just beginning. For today, I'm focusing on this one:

I WILL pass my boards tomorrow (though I won't know for quite a few days). I have taken the leap, and now I am building my wings. And now it's time for some sleep ...