Exploring our local library

Today, Hannah and I spent the afternoon checking out our new local library. We discovered they have an amazing children's library, including a bean bag-filled nook, with hand puppets, wall-mounted activities and tons of space to lounge and read with your child.

We had the most fun playing with the mirrors and making silly faces. Hannah's favorite color is green and she was immediately drawn to making all kinds of faces in the green portion of what looked like an Andy Warhol mirror of sorts.

Hannah also spelled her own name, with only minimal assistance from mom, on the magnetic letter board. Not too shabby for a not-quite-three-year-old!

And then we moved on to examining healthy food combination and serving sizes of the felt board nearby (that's in honor of all my Loseit.com friends!).

I'd say she did pretty well here. Noodles and an orange for one meal and a pineapple and some strawberries for a snack. :)

And no fun day is complete without a trip to "the French Fry store" as Hannah likes to call McDonald's. After my parents were done with work, we all headed to the nearby French Fry store and Hannah made quick work investigating and devouring her large fries (which I used to say were only a vehicle for ketchup, but truly, she ate more than a hundred fries easily tonight). Thank heaves she eats well most of the other time!

There are days this little one drives me up the wall, but there are far more ones like this, where we get to explore and play together and I get to pretend - if for a little while - that I'm nearly-three again. I try to revel in those moments and recognize they're fleeting, because before I know it, she might be 33 and moving back home with me ... and I'd welcome here just as my parents have, with open arms!

Good things about today:
- exploring the library with my daughter
- watching a gorgeous red/orange sunset behind the gigantic big trees
- joining The Aqua Yellow Love Swap on Flickr
- setting up my iMac again (OMG, how I've missed her!)
- spending time with my family

The library was such a hit, we're already planning to join Toddler Art Time there, starting next Wednesday!

The Mohawk

Perhaps I'm having a little too much fun with this haircut ... mohawked it today - didn't even take an exceptional amount of product as it is a very versatile and well-executed style (I think I found a new hairdresser!). While I knew my nearly-three-year-old daughter would love it, my mom laughed when she saw it. Gotta admit, even I expected that. I thought it might be fun to see what weird looks I got driving between Madison and Milwaukee today to pick up my daughter, and I'm happy to say I didn't pick up on a single one, in either city or on the road in between.

There's something strangely liberating about not really caring what kind of looks you get sometimes, and knowing that at 33 I can still pull off something fun like this for a day. Paired with heavy makeup, tons of hoops in my ears, a tongue stud and a Paramore tee shirt, I'll admit - it was a super-fun look!

Of course Hannah loved it when she saw it. We always try to make her hair into a faux-hawk when she's in the tubby, but since it's gotten longer, we've taken to calling it the "gnome look." 

Not a lot more accomplished today, but some days are just like that ... and that's okay too.

Things I'm happy about today:
- 3 hours of car time to listen to the iPod LOUD and sing at the top of my lungs
- Snuggling with my daughter
- Plenty of "me" time
- The sun warming the side of my face on the drive back from Milwaukee, despite the cold weather
- Lying in bed with my daughter and singing her bedtimes songs (I Love You and You Are My Sunshine are our two standards, sung every night she's with me since she was born).

On moving ... out and forward

I've recently started journaling again ... something I haven't done in a very long time, but I'm feeling the need to again. Perhaps just to put all the loose thoughts bouncing around my brain in one cohesive place. Maybe if I get them all out there, where I can reflect on what, and who and why, I'll somehow have a better sense of life. I've had this journal for years ... full of blank pages, just waiting to be needed. I adore the angel on the cover and the funky pages inside.

For the most part, I've tried to keep this blog upbeat and happy, though those of you who read on a regular basis know that I do not fear honesty and have often shared my issues with depression with my readers. While I'm not currently having those issues, there are others occurring in my life that have caused great upheaval and confusion. Inspired by Beki of Artsy-Crafty Babe, who I have long admired, I figured I'd just put it out there, as she did in her post yesterday.

My husband and I are divorcing. I had hoped it would be amicably, but that no longer appears to be possible, for which I am sad. I know this is the right decision for me and will ultimately lead to greater happiness and personal fulfillment, however, it is currently a time of much uncertainty and frustration. For the time being, my daughter and I have moved in with my parents, for which I am so grateful. They adore my daughter (and probably me, too) and it's nice to have their support. I haven't been able to get much of my belongings at this point, but I did manage to get enough things to hopefully make Hannah feel at home and enough of my fabric to give me endless sewing opportunities (my mother said her stash was off limits - LOL - she's currently whipping out a twin quilt as I type).

But with uncertainty comes anxiety ... and I think so far I'm handling that as well as can be expected. I've found a daycare for my daughter and am currently updating my resume and applying for RN positions around Madison, WI, where my parents live. Financially, I'm in a tough spot, but I'm taking it one day at a time and facing the future with hope instead of despair.

There are lots of things that remain to be done and I recognize it will be a long time before I feel "settled," and I accept that as okay. I need to find the DMV and change my address. Monday, I'm getting a library card and figuring out when story time is at the library for my daughter. We're going to spend a half-day sitting in on her new daycare and seeing what she thinks. I'm going to start applying for every job I can find - and being in a bigger metropolitan area, there are many more opportunities here. I might even teach an English class as adjunct faculty at a local technical college. I am LOVING being back in a big city again, not to mention one that embraces diversity. To celebrate, I recently chopped my already-short locks even shorter - a trendier cut for a much trendier city.

It's so fun and funky and I can totally spike it any way I want ... I'm thinking I might see if I can get it into a mohawk of sorts tomorrow... as suggested by my friend Sally's teenage daughter with whom I spent a bit of time this past week. I love short hair, mostly because it gives one nothing to hid behind. I'm not afraid of who I am - I KNOW who I am. And I am choosing to celebrate that once again. I finally got a set of four graduated hoop earring for all the multiple holes in my ears - ones I can sleep on without the studs pressing into my head all night. My earrings, tongue stud and crazy hair are totally acceptable here, which I adore. I feel like I'm taking back "me" ... one huge step and a bunch of little ones at a time.

So, I'm going to start looking at back at the good things over the day here, as a reminder that even during those not-so-great days, there are always good things that happened, no matter how small. Jeni of In Color Order does this, so if it looks familiar, that might be why.

Good things about today:
- Started journaling again
- Got to sleep in late (no kids this weekend)
- Breaded tilapia, cooked snap peas and mini red potatoes for dinner (thanks mom!)
- Seeing most of my fabric stash physically with me
- Hooking up my streaming Netflix account here

I hope your weekend is off to a wonderful start!

Friday Favorites: Hoop Art

1. hanging hoop..., 2. Hoop full of Hexies, 3. love is priceless..., 4. Dresden Plate Hanging Hoop Wall Pocket, 5. celebration ... , 6. I love my bed

Taking note

Mmm... enjoyed a delicious gingerbread latte at my favorite coffee house this afternoon. I've been really trying to appreciate the environment around me lately. I think some times I hurry through life, without really stopping and appreciating the small things.

A few things I've noticed lately:
- The way the setting sun casts a warm glow against the side of red barns in rural areas
- The long shadows cast by street lights against buildings more than 100 years old
- The way you can hear the wind start through the trees before you feel it against your cheek
- That the very old, beautiful oak tree across the street with no leaves in the bare of winter will once again have leaves this spring, and the branches I watch sway in the breeze will rustle with the wind.
- The chirps of birds that haven't fled the arctic winter of Wisconsin
- That the rivers of water have thawed and refrozen in the street have a rather beautiful wavy look to them

WIP Wednesday

 Plodding away at the basting of this first star ... and scouring the Flickr group for what people are doing differently to make it go so much faster. I laid out what I had completed thus far and am really liking how it looks. I'm hoping to finish basting the remaining pieces to this star over the next couple of days.

I also decided to start choosing fabrics and cutting for the Sparkle Quilt Along, which is being hosted by In Color Order and Canoe Ridge Creations. Check out the Flickr group of participants here. Last week was color and fabric selection, this week was cutting and next week starts sewing!

I haven't totally decided on what size quilt to make... I know I want it larger than a mini, and I'm thinking I might even try for a lap quilt size. We'll see... at least a baby size. Hannah picked the colors out - she insisted on an orange palate.

And perhaps my largest work-in-progress is moving. My daughter and I are relocating to Madison, where I will be looking for a job as an RN. We are going to be staying with my parents until my divorce is final and we're back on our feet, which will hopefully be sooner, rather than later.

My cutie pie!

Stopped off today to grab a bite to eat at The Roman Candle Pizzaria on the way home from grocery shopping. Hannah was immediately drawn to this gigantic mural of Koi painted on the shared entryway with the adjoining new bar, The Atomic Koi.

Spending time in the big city of Madison has been fun for this little one, who rode her first escalator this afternoon at Wal-Mart, which even has a parking garage (another novelty). We shared some delicious pizza, called The Professional, which featured a pesto-alfredo sauce topped with feta, house blend, broccoli, bacon, green pepper, oven-roasted chicken breast and a little bit of jalapeño. Of course, I picked the jalepeno off her pizza, as that was a little much for this two-year-old!

And while she quietly watched a movie this afternoon, I was able to make more progress on my Rose Star paper piecing. I'm still basting all of the stars little pieces, but remain convinced that once that's done, the actual sewing will go faster. If nothing else, I'm getting quicker and quicker at basting with every piece. Clearly, not everyone in the Rose Star Flickr Group has little children underfoot, or else they are WAY better at basting than am I! Practice makes perfect, right?

Friday Favorites: Instagram Love

1. Lock, 2. Untitled, 3. #versailles #iphoto #ig #instamood #pictureoftheday #shadows #trees, 4. SL, 5. little branches in the snow, 6. typewriter

I recently downloaded the Instagram app for my iTouch ... and I've been loving playing with it all week. Thinking I need an iPhone so I can get better resolution ... oh, such a slippery slope!

"I did it!"

It was a long 36 hours, waiting, after taking the NCLEX. I got only 75 questions and the test ended. Everyone who gets the minimum feels like they've failed. It's normal. I knew it was normal. Yet, I walked out of the testing facility and tried not to throw up in the parking lot. Thankfully, the blizzard I'd driven through earlier that morning to get there left me inches of snow to clean off my car, and I didn't hurl right then. I couldn't really think of anything so I drove to the nearby mall and proceeded to walk - in and out of stores - not really looking for anything but some reassurance. Needless to say, I didn't find it.

Instead, I headed back to my parents, and managed to have my head about me enough to stop and interview a daycare center for possible daycare for my daughter once I find employment down here. I then went home and avoided doing the "PVT: Pearson Vue Trick" for most of the afternoon. Until my mom came home and asked me if I'd tried. And a friend asked me if I tried. So, I tried it... and got the "good" message. Checked the Wisconsin Board of Nursing ... nothing.

This morning, I got up, played with my daughter, spent a lovely afternoon with Jeni of In Color Order and came home to an email saying my status had been updated with the Wisconsin State Board of Nursing. So, I logged on, and there, on the screen before me, was my license number and the initals R.N. behind my name!

It's official. I survived nursing school. I passed my boards. I am a licensed registered nurse. I survived. And I am so very thankful, for everyone in my life along the way, who offered kind words, encouragement, love and support as I struggled through. Thank you.

Now, it's time to do some sewing! And start looking for the beginning of my new career - as an R.N.!

Fear and courage

Couldn't have said it better ...  There are many things I've been fearing in my life lately: Saying words I needed to say, ones I knew would hurt, but would also set me free; choosing a career path that may mean relocating, away from one of my children; taking an exam in order to further that career, one that if I pass will put me ahead of others, and if I fail will put me behind ... 

However, I said the words, I made a career choice and I'm taking that exam bright and early tomorrow morning. It was scary, but I believe in myself enough to know that I can handle what comes my way and be better for it in the end. 

Tomorrow at 8 a.m. I am taking my state nursing boards, and I'm hoping that I do well. These are one of those exams that you can never feel quite prepared enough for. Over the past couple of months, I've done more than 4,000 NCLEX review questions and reviewed more than 1,000 rationales regarding questions. Those who don't know me, should understand I'm a type A personality. I like to not just pass, but ace things. And with computerized adaptive testing, you either pass or fail ... there is no grade. No way to ace anything. It's very black and white (and I so appreciate all those beautiful shades of grey in between). And to make it even worse, you don't know if you passed or failed when you leave. I fully expect to walk out of the exam once it closes and push down the urge to vomit in the parking lot.

I recently created a Pinterest Words board, with inspirational quotes that I can refer too when I'm in need of a little uplifting. A couple of quotes are one's I've loved for a long time and would make a great future tattoo. Maybe to celebrate all of these changes that are just beginning. For today, I'm focusing on this one:

I WILL pass my boards tomorrow (though I won't know for quite a few days). I have taken the leap, and now I am building my wings. And now it's time for some sleep ...

Rose Star paper piecing

Trying out mobile blogging ... Started working on basting my Rose Star pieces. Two pieces done, three more to go. Perfect for keeping your hands busy while watching TV.

Mad-town, here I come!

Packed my bags this morning and am heading to Madison to spend some time with my parents. My mission this trip: to pass my state nursing boards. If I succeed, I'll be a licensed RN, which will hopefully give me a foot up in the endless job search.

I'm scheduled to take them bright and early Tuesday morning. Let's be completely honest: I'm freaked. I'm already feeling sick to my stomach. I've been studying and studying and studying... but computerized adaptive testing freaks me out.

So, I'm heading down early. Watching the Packers game with my parents. Relaxing tomorrow. Taking the boards Tuesday and looking forward to Wednesday, when Jeni of In Color Order and I are going to hook up and spend some time together. She'll get to meet Hannah, which should be fun, and Hannah will get to meet George, Jeni's adorable bunny!

No pictures today ... unless I add some later. There are going to be some big changes over the next month or so in my personal life - some sad, some scary, lots of unknowns, but hopefully, some new experiences and good times as well. I'll be posting through it all, and trying to keep it upbeat. But anyone who reads me on a regular basis knows I try to keep it as real as possible, and that won't be changing.

Friday fun

Spent Friday afternoon (and night) with my best friend Sally and her family. I haven't seen them as much as I would have liked over the past year, but I have hopes of changing that this coming year. Last night I enjoyed a great couple of bottles of wine with Sally (some of you might know her from her family's business Night Owl Craftworks - Etsy and Blog) as well as some time hanging with Mike and Sally's three daughters. 

Sally and Hailey having fun! Ashley, Sally's 15-year-old daughter, totally schooled me on knowledge of cool photography apps for the iPhone/iTouch!

Ashley (left) and Emily rockin' out!

On our second bottle - Sally picked whites and I picked them out. I've been quite down about not having any pending job offers following graduation despite applying for more positions than I can count, and I knew Sally needed some cheering up too, so I was more than happy to oblige.

Homemade Raspberry Marshmallows - the premise of our entire get together ... Despite the fun, Sally managed to whip them up and they set overnight. We woke up this morning to perfect-looking, mouth-watering mallows, perfect for adding to a gigantic cup of hot chocolate. 

I, on the other hand, decided I needed plenty of water and ibuprofen prior to heading home. But all in all, a great night with wonderful friends. Thank you!

Progress, but not quite timely enough

Wednesday, I managed to find time to cut out pieces for a new hat for my daughter (it should look this this hat from From An Igloo once the lining and outside are assembled and sewn together). I chose to make hers with pink fleece for the top, a dark grey ear band and with dark grey spikes down the center of the hat - because if you know my daughter, she's fun like that. And these colors match her winter coat. She'll also be getting matching mittens. Hannah started the season out with two pairs of hat/mittens - one for at my house and one for at her father's house. And wouldn't you know, I seem to have lost the ones that were supposed to be at my house (not who I would have been money on to loose 'em either, so I'm kinda appalled at myself.).

Anyway, the fail here is that it was 50 degrees and balmy in Wisconsin on Wednesday, which didn't make me over-eager to start sewing fleece together. However, today I woke up to something akin to a small blizzard and 20 degree temps. Fortunately, she went to her father's this weekend, so I have a couple more days to whip them up!

And if any of you with small children underfoot need a reminder ... put your digital camera out of their reach when you set it down, or you may be finding little screwdrivers and trying to fix it yourself in the future. I have 3 point and shoot Canons, this being the oldest of the bunch, and admittedly I have allowed her to take pictures with this one before ... but it apparently it couldn't withstand being dropped on concrete.  Oh well. Not sure how badly I want to keep trying to resuscitate this one.

And this is my first Rose Star Block Party English paper piecing block template. This is one of the ways I'm going to be using up some of those scraps around. I have English paper pieced before and I find it strangely calming as it allows my fingers to be busy while watching TV in the evening, or while waiting for doctor's appointments or some such similar thing.

I figured out what colors I wanted my Rose Star to be (5 different colors/prints) and labeled them by which print goes where, then I cut up the little buggers (and they are small).

Each square there is an inch ... so yes, very small pieces - but perfect for those "what-do-I-do-with-that" pieces of fabric! Hop over to the Flickr group and see everyone's progress. I'm hoping to get my pieces basted tomorrow evening. Then to decide on how many blocks I want to make!

Can't run without taking pics!

Didn't have time yesterday to run between doctor's appointments and working at my daughter's daycare (it's great, I work a half day a week in exchange for my daughter's other daycare during the week - and I love the kids there, they're all wonderful, so is her provider!). However, I made sure I was dressed in my workout clothes and ready when hubby got home from work so I could squeeze a quick run in before it was completely dark.

Of course, I decided to run through the largely vacant industrial area of town - all that's left there are empty metal buildings behind tall fences topped with barb wire. About the only business still going in that area is the feedmill, pictured above. I snapped that one and the one below with the Hipstamatic app for my iTouch.

And here's some desolate rail road tracts. Occasionally, I can hear a small train coming through, but never on any sort of schedule. It's amazing what has happened to this town following the closing of it's largest factory employer a few years ago. However, I will say, in the future, I plan on running in a little more populated areas as dusk is falling. Though it was very peaceful, it's probably not the safest idea.

On Sunday, I didn't run with any music, and running with it today made a world of difference in my mood. I guess I was too preoccupied with my new Garmin toy on Sunday to even think to grab my iTouch. So, I'm now updating the software on my iTouch (no idea when I did that last!) and downloading more music to it. It's one of three I have and I usually use one of my iPod mini when I run because I can tuck it under a sports bra strap. But since it's chilly here (42 today, which is actually WAY not normal for January in Wisconsin), I had a fleece overshirt on with a pocket to store the iTouch.

And since I've been running, I'm feeling a little more motivated to sew. I cleaned up the dining room table this afternoon so hopefully I can start on a couple of projects!

The first project being hacking my heart rate monitor strap that came with this Garmin watch. It's too big for my ribcage even at the absolute smallest setting, so I'm fairly certain it's not reading my heart rate correctly. I ran it by my cardiologist yesterday and even he thought a heart rate in the range of 175-190 is not accurate. So, seeing as I have some wicked sewing skills, the elastic is getting the hack and a redo so that it fits snugly against my rib cage.

If you want to see where I ran today: click here and you can see how awesome this Garmin GPS unit is! You can even see where I stopped to tie my shoe - twice (hello, double knots!).